Life Skills Coach
Life Skills Coach
Power Questions.
On a scale of 1 to 10… ?
This is one of the most useful question formats that I use regularly. Here are some examples:
When checking ‘state’. Even if my own observations seem clear about the state that a person is, asking this question is doubly useful;
1. It confirms my own observation.
2. It connects the person to their own internal state in a quantifying way that wouldn’t happen if I simply asked, “what is happening now?”, or “what are you feeling now?”
This question also adds a quantity measure to the internal state, or perception being worked on. It gives you a position against which to measure progress or lack of progress. You can test if what you are doing is working. If it isn’t, do something else.
What would happen if you did… ?
This question format offers a powerful reframe to a person who is demonstrating beliefs that they cannot do something. People get stuck in the mode that something is impossible, difficult for them or not something they do. A reframe moves thinking beyond not being able to, to the outcome of doing the thing. You may get the answer, “but I can’t’. Offer the reframe again, “and you can just imagine for a moment that you have done … what is happening now? Offer the outcome in the here and now to stimulate the physiology of the outcome, and when your client starts to consider the outcome explore the possibilities with enhanced sub-modalities to make it as real as real life. If it’s appropriate, you could anchor the state and you should certainly future pace the desired outcomes.
Be aware that this question is almost guaranteed to significantly change the internal state of the person. If that’s not the right thing to do right now, save the question for the right time.
Who can you think of who has done this?
This question begins the loosening process for an unhelpful belief. A person who is stuck in the ‘impossibility’ or ‘can’t’ of a situation can be offered an alternative to this position by an invitation to identify with a person who can, and does, take this action, This third party holds the belief that they ‘can do’ this thing. Get your client to ‘walk in their shoes’ by using their perceptual position. Exploring the internal state of this person whilst they are doing the action, and perhaps also using the personality map (logical levels), to explore the persons perception will loosen the limiting belief.
I’d like you to imagine…
Not so much a question as an invitation to create options. Whenever someone is stuck it can be useful to move them out of being stuck by imagining what it’s like not to be stuck. or when goal setting, it can be very powerful to invite the imagination (and the subconscious) to expand the possibilities.
And why is that important?
If you want to identify the values at play in a given situation, this question brings them to the surface. You may need to ask the question a few times to get to a core or inner value (you will know when you get to a core value when you finally get an answer like “it just is…”).
Footnote: It is also very important to note that other factors influence the level of impact that your questions will have. For example: Are you in rapport? Are you using your watching and listening skills to track the physiology of your client and their current ‘state’?
Is is true that if I learned to play the piano, I will gain vocal skills?
I’ve the piano and voice are sorta like an item. I will learn the keys and etc, once I’ve learned the piano. The examples I was given was John Legend, Alicia Keys, and Jamie Foxx. In my opinion, all three of the fore mentioned, have extraordinary vocal talents/ability. Is this because of their second ability to play the piano also? I am thinking about taking voice lessons, along with some piano lesson, but probably not in one. Any advice!!! I am 16, and I am very serious about sharpening my skills. I love music…this is my life. I know that if I don’t make it in entertainment, I will become some sort of music teacher/instructor/coach or etc. Hopefully, I have enough talent to make it in the industry. I am willing to pay anything I have to get where I want to go.Please Help!
The basic principal of understanding tone usually accompanies learning to play a musical instrument. By playing an instrument, you start to pick up in your head how certain notes should sound, allowing you to recreate these sounds verbally.
When you hear a song, you will then recognize tones and depth in the song rather than just beats and lyrics, and you’ll be able to adapt what you have learned to reproduce a better vocal sound.
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